KIMBO SLICED by Pink Haired Substitute

The main event for CBS's Saturday Fight Night was a comedy of errors. Four point three million viewers tuned in to see the main event spectacle of internet street fighting sensation Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson dissecting ancient MMA legend Ken Shamrock. But ---- the first thing they heard was that the Kimbo vs. Ken match wasn't going to happen because Shamrock had managed to sustain a six stitch gash in his eyebrow while warming up for the fight and had thereby rendered himself ineligible to compete. As announcer Frank Shamrock, sort of brother of Ken (Ken is Irish and from the Carolinas while Frank is Hispanic and from California, but they were both adopted by wayward boys home manager Bob Shamrock) said, "How Stupid Is That! Ken Never goes light, so why was he warming up like that just before a major match?" Maybe we will get to see that Ken vs. Frank fight one of these days.

Meanwhile EXC and CBS still needed a Kimbo main event. Their only other heavyweights on the card were on loan from Afflication Promotions (more on them later), so they couldn't move either of these guys into the main event, but they did have a lightheavy weight match in which one of the opponents had previously competed at heavyweight --- enter Seth "The Silverback" Petruzelli. Petruzelli had been a heavyweight semi finalist in the 2nd season of The Ultimate Fighter, but had just taken a year off from fighting to start a business and had in doing so become pretty much an MMA non entity. A fight with Kimbo was a quick route back into the limelight so the 28 year old accepted the match even though he had entered the arena that evening expecting to face veteran lightheavy weight Arron Rossa in a preliminary bout. Petruzelli entered the cage with a somewhat dubious look under his pink and black patched hair and bounced around nervously as he waited for the Floridian street fighter, who had forty pounds on him. Kimbo looked a bit uneasy as he entered the cage and one had to wonder if the substitution of a live lightheavy weight journeyman instead of stuffed and propped up heavyweight relic was making The Slicer nervous.

As the fight began Kimbo tore across the ring with a charge that Petruzelli later described as feeling like a truck was trying to run him down. The pink haired kid backed up to the limits of the cage wall and as Kimbo bore down on him Petruzelli reacted with the instincts of someone who has practiced Karate since the age of seven and threw a light front kick at the charging behemoth in hopes of backing the monster off. Then Kimbo made a common amateur mistake and reached down to block the kick thereby leaving his head wide open. The kid promptly shot out a straight right punch, which is being described as a jab, but was actually more of a straight Karate punch as Petruzelli had learned in his youth ............... and the big man's eyebrow split open --- and he collapsed on his face. Being an actual MMA veteran, Petruzelli leaped on his fallen opponent and rained down punches unti the ref had to stop the match as the Star performer was just laying there taking a beating. Substitute Seth Petruzelli had stopped Kimbo Slice in 14 seconds of the 1st round!

Petruzelli was humble in his post fight interview, saying that neither of them had any time to prepare for each other making this more like a street fight than a professional prize fight and that he would gladly give Kimbo a rematch, in which he would be very happy to come in to about twenty pound heavier as stripping to light heavy had been arduous. But as Kimbo has been billed as the "Fight anyone anytime street fighter" Petruzelli's explanation didn't really help Kimbo's reputation. I'm sure the kid was happy to get his $35,000. for the match and another $15,000 for winning, which is probably three or fout times as much as he would have received for fighting Rosa. For his part, Kimbo seemed to blow the entire fight off with, "Things happen -- its all good -- come to the after party". I guess he was happy with the five hundred grand that he was to receive for his 14 seconds of ineptitude.

Hopefully Kimbo Slice will now receed to his natural position on the MMA heavyweight ladder and appear on undercards facing the likes of Butterbean, Kurt Angle, Kimo, Dan Severn or --- Ken Shamrock ........ but don't count on it. EXC and CBS seem to think that Kimbo's internet popularity will always translate into good ratings and this card did double the viewers that tuned in last summer to see the middleweight title rematch of Robbie Lawler and Chris Smith. Therefore don't be surprised if the next we see of Florida's number street fighter is a main event rematch with Seth Petruzelli, which at least would be superior to a revival of the Ken Shamrock - Kimbo Slice main event. You know that Kimbo will be there --------- where else will he make a half mil in a few seconds? But as for us fans -------- Come on CBS & EXC -- We want to see Cung Li!

EXC and CBS's other star attraction managed to win, but wasn't all that exciting either. Gina "Conviction" Carno took on former Bodog Fight mid level contender Kelly Kobald. Both girls are kickboxing based, but Carno is the bigger of the pair as has become usual in her matches. She even had to strip naked at the weigh in to make the 141 LB limit, which while entertaining (to a limited extent as they held towels around her) once again proved that she has to really strip weight (and clothes) to make weight and is always bigger than her opponents. The fight was pretty much a snorer as mostly Kobald pinned Carano to the cage and Carano couldn't seem to escape from her smaller opponent's grasp. In her few moments off the cage Carano peppered Kobald with kicks and punches, bloodied Kobald and took a boring but unquestionable decision.

On the undercard Chris "Cyborg" Santos beat the hell out of Yoko Takahasi, who for her part turned out to be tough as nails and lasted the entire match. Cyborg is naturally the same size as Gina Carano, so hopefully the EXC will match her with Carano soon, so that we can find out how much "Conviction" Gina has when facing a highly trained fighter who is her own size. Is Gina the real deal ... or just a female Kimbo?

Afflication Promotions loaned Elite Xtreme Combat both former UFC champion Andrei "Pitbull"Arlovski and former IFL champion Roy "Big Country" Nelson. This was a good match and kept both heavyweights in action instead of having to wait for Afflication's next card that isn't until the first of the year. Nelson is unique in that he looks like just a big old country bar fighter with a belly like Butterbean, but he can move and he can fight. In the first round Big country managed to stun Arlovski with a big looping punch and to land on top after Arlovski tripped him and use his weight effectively to pin the former UFC champ to the canvas for quite a while. The ripped six foot four inch Arlovski wasn't going to stand for this treatment for long though and in the second round the number six ranked heavyweight caught Nelson with a solid shot in the middle of an exchange, dropped the big man and took him out for a 2nd round TKO win.

Afflication Promotions took their pound of flesh for the loan though. They bought up a good percentage of the advertising time of the show and ran thirty second ads with about twenty seconds of the Fedor vs. Tim Sylvia Fight, which had only lasted thirty two seconds. This ran with both the t shirt ads and the promotion ads and served to constantly remind viewers that Afflication, not the UFC or EXC has the #1 heavyweight in the world under contract. Watch for Arvlovski to fight Fedor fairly soon ----------- in an Afflication venue, not an EXC show.

Saturday night the undercard matches saved the show. The on loan heavyweights were entertaining and the EXC Welterweight Title Fight, that by all rights should have been the main event was a well contested match. Welterweight champion Jake Shields made an exciting defense against English Cage Rage Promotion's welterweight champion Paul Daley. The first round saw Daley control the stand up, Shields score the take down, Daley sweep to mount and do a little ground and pound. In the second Daley continued to control the standup till Shields got the take down. The EXC champ then applied a little ground and pound of his own to set up the perfect armbar, which submitted Daley. Both these boys put on a great show and Shields demonstrated that he will be a credible opponent for the middleweight title if the ECX allows him his wish for his next fight.

In the opening TV fight Chute Box veteran from Brazil, Murillo "Ninja" Rua faced IFL vet Benji Radach. Rua needed a win and went out to get it with his surperb kickboxing skills, but Radach had other ideas. The first round was all Radach's wide punches and Rua's leg kicks, knees and a bit of grappling. Raddach did manage to stun Rua at one point, but also looked like his legs might be hurting from the pounding Ninja was giving them. The second round was more of the same till Rua attempted a flying knee and Benji caught him with a solid punch in mid air and dropped the Chute Box warrior. Radach then pounced on his fallen foe and finished him for a 2nd round TKO win. It will now be interesting to see who gets to EXC middleweight champion Robbie Lawler first, Benji Radach or welterweight champion Jake Shields? Of course Lawler must first get by his next contender, " Smokin' Joe" Villasenior, who could easily become the middleweight champion that Shields and Radach are chasing. Ohhh -- a Villasenior vs. Benji Radach match would be a striking fan's delight.

So Elite Xtreme Combat's third foray into the world of network television had its ups and downs. It was certainly good enough to hold the interest of dedicated MMA fans, but was it enough to bring in the casual and new fans who are needed to keep the suits at CBS happy? Probably not! Don't be surprised to see the next CBS/EXC show be the last one and for EXC to return to SHO only. I bet right about now the suits at CBS are wishing that they had been able to deal better with Dana White!

Good Night - Good Fight,
Frank "The Snake"